By Jamie McAfee
We Teach People How to Treat Us
This may sound the most cliché statement that doesn’t really make sense, but let’s break it down. It basically means that the best time to lay down the law in the relationship is in the beginning. Successful couples know when they have stepped over the line and address it, instead of creating a boundary once someone has crossed it. Don’t be afraid to speak up. A respectful, solid person will respect your limits.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
In relationships there are two things-what a person tells you and what a person shows you. If you’re just getting to know someone on the phone, through email, or from online dating you’re banking on words more than actions. The danger is that you can feel really close to someone who simply can’t live up to the description of themselves. The world is full of lazy, selfish people but who describes themselves as such? Spend some time observing what your romantic interest does. If you don’t like what you see, run for the hills.
Keep it Real
Fantasy is good and all but it can set you up for failure. Don’t come into the relationship with a hug sack of expectations. Someone can seem like your knight in shining armor only because you are wearing your knight in shining armor goggles. If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are. Stay sober literally and metaphorically so you can see who they really are.
Take it Slow
Real love takes time to grow. Let things progress slowly and naturally. You want to be apart of the relationship and its unfurling but you also what to be an objective observer noting quirks and habits about the person, and also how you feel when you’re around them. Safety is often an illusion and there’s no guarantee of it. Human beings can be pretty unpredictable. Be careful and take one step at a time.
Last, but not least…
Trust in yourself that you’ll carefully select a good person. Trust in yourself that you’ll know when someone isn’t who they say they are. And trust in yourself that no matter what happens you will prevail!