The 8 Best Ways To Secure a Second Date
When you go into that first date it may feel as though your nerves truly get the best of you. Though you want to impress this person, you may feel overwhelmed by concern about how you will across and how things will go. This is a great time to take a deep breath and really let your true self-shine through. If you want to get to that second date then you have to be ready for where the night takes you, and ultimately be yourself so that they see what you are all about.
This, of course, takes confidence, but it also means that you have to be open-minded to the possibilities. Though this may not necessarily be the match that you dreamed of on paper, you never know how things can go. If you can stay positive, live in the moment, and really enjoy the time that you spend with this person on the first date then things may go better than you might think. The first date can be an excellent platform for the second date—and here are the tips to help you to win them over and secure that second date to really see where things go!
- Use the power of body language to show interest: This doesn’t mean that you are promiscuous but it just means that you embrace the power of flirting and some well placed body language to win them over. Smile at them, make eye contact, stand with your body open without arms crossed—these are the types of things that show them that you are interested without saying a word! Body language is a very powerful tool in showing this person that you are intriguing and that you are interested in them for more than just this first meeting.
- Be yourself and show confidence: One of the most attractive traits is confidence, so get in touch with your own and let it shine through. This is not a time to pretend, but rather just be yourself and own what that means. When they see that you are confident about the person that you are, then they can’t help but be interested in learning more about you. There is something more to learn and your confidence shows them that you have got it going on, so they want to be a part of that.
- Go in with an open mind and a positive mindset: You never know when this person that you meet could turn into something really great in your life. Don’t shoot yourself down before the date even starts, but rather go in with an open mind. Being positive makes you more attractive and when you see what possibilities may come out of this first date, you may allow yourself to get to the second date when you normally would have never considered it.
- Listen as much as you talk: There should be a good back and forth type of conversation going on in this first date to get to the second one. Be sure that you share details about yourself, but also be ready and willing to listen to them too. When you can find that good balance then good things happen. Be conscious of the ability to talk as much as you listen and vice versa, for good conversation is the key to a second date!
- Have fun and look at this as an opportunity: Stop worrying about what may come and just have fun on the first date. If you want a second date then you need to see this for what it is, and that’s an opportunity. Enjoy yourself, have fun, laugh a little, and see what may come. When you can just have fun it’s very attractive and makes the other person want to see you again with certainty.
- Do something fun together that allows the two of you to talk: Do keep in mind that whatever you do together on that first date makes a difference if you will get to a second date or not. Try to plan something fun together like a picnic at the park or grabbing coffee that ensures that you can enjoy each other’s company. If you want to get the second date then the environment on that first date and your ability to get to know each other matters greatly.
- Leave something to the imagination—a little mystery can go a long way: Though you want to be forthcoming you also want to leave something to the imagination. A little bit of mystery can help to keep them intrigued. This means that you don’t put all your cards out on the table and you leave something for them to get to know about you on future dates to come.
- Focus on the present and this person before you: Stop worrying about the future and never focus on the past—just focus on the present and this person sitting before you! There can be great things to come if you just put yourself into the current situation and stop worrying about what may or may not come to be. This isn’t always easy but if you can just live in this moment and focus on what is happening in the first date, then that second date will be much more likely to come and then you can enjoy what lies ahead from there!
My girlfriend has been dating this guy for a few months and so I hear a lot about their relationship. They have been dating and there are times when she finds him boring. Super nice guy and everything but she has been moved to tears by boredom. I’ve often asked her why she continues to stay with him if talking to a pole can at times bring about deeper conversations. Her reasoning is that she’s hoping she can spark some excitement into him making him the perfect man. I disagree. I don’t believe that a boring man can suddenly become less boring, I think he’s boring for a reason; that’s why these men always end up in the friend zone. I myself have dated the boring man so I feel like I’ve done extensive research on the subject. There are undeniable traits of a boring man, and here they are:
- They Don’t Mind Waiting
The problem with boring men is they don’t feel their time is valuable and they will prove it to you. How this works from a dating standpoint is simple. These are the guys that take forever to ask a girl out, or who will spend too much time on a woman who isn’t even interested.
- They Expect Something For Being Nice
These are the guys that don’t understand why a girl is not falling in love with him because he is “so nice” to her. What boring guys don’t seem to get is that everyone is nice. That doesn’t mean that it makes them immediately dateable. A nice guy is not reason enough to date someone. There are no extra points for being nice, guys! It’s called being human.
- When Life Isn’t Fair They Get Upset
When the going gets tough these guys can’t handle the pressure; they will pout, whine and moan when life doesn’t go their way. Someone who is exciting and self-possessed won’t behave in this manner. They will roll up their sleeves and get the job done, no matter what life throws at them. Don’t date a guy with a victim mentality.
- They Are Gentle Towards Women
Boring men handle the women they are interested in with kid gloves. The sexy men will be aggressive and go after what they want while a boring guy will be overly friendly, soft and gentle so that he can show us what a harmless man he is. You know the guy in your office who everyone says would never hurt a fly? That’s the boring guy. These men are worried they will scare us off if they don’t appear unintimidating.
They exhibit behaviors such as:
- They will always follow a joke or flirt with “didn’t mean it.”
- They will laugh nervously and smile a lot
- Overly chumming, hugging women or hi-fiving them, overly excited when they greet them, and letting women vent to them.
- They Have No Interests or Passions Of Their Own
Most sexy and exciting men have lives of their own. They are either involved in sports or going to the gym, always competing against other men to be the best. A boring and unsexy man will have a lack of passion. There are men out there that have no drive to be the best and nothing to
A man with passion is very attractive to a woman because she wants to be close to the fire that is burning inside of him. A boring man doesn’t strive for anything and is fine with the status quo which a woman can find boring especially if she is ambitious.
These are just a few of the qualities that you can look out for when jumping head first into the dating game. Keep a look out for the boring man and don’t waste your time trying to change him. Boring men will always be boring.
We’re excited to announce that The Catch has officially launched it’s beta in San Francisco! We truly believe in creating a safe and playful way to meet someone online.
The Catch is a female-centric dating app that provides a safe space for women to screen men. It’s a unique game in which one woman invites a small group of men to compete for a date. Through successive question and answer rounds, the woman narrows the pool of male contestants based on her satisfaction with their replies. The male contestant with the most compatible responses earns an in-person date.
Women enjoy freedom and privacy – they ask questions that matter while remaining invisible to men whom they are not interested in. For their part, men are eager to compete because they have a one-in-four chance in lieu of sending out a hundred messages.
Our mission was to bring flirty back, it’s about a unique way of connecting with people, its not about what school you go to or what job you have, it is designed to enable serendipity, stop focusing only looks and start looking into other interesting things like personality and chemistry.
Finally, the data men have all been waiting for: what do women really want to know on a first date?
During The Catch’s private beta testing, we allowed our users to choose between asking questions from our own categorized database or inputing their own.
Graph on the left shows that while many went for similar preset questions from our categories (represented by the larger circles), the majority chose to input their own unique questions (represented by the smaller circles).
Below are the top questions by category. Men, take note!
Question Created by our Users
- If your life can be summed up by a movie title, what would it be called?
- What is your drink of choice?
- It’s the apocalypse. All that remains of the world is you and the SF zoo. Which animal do you eat first and why?
- List three of the most gentlemanly things you’ve ever done for a woman.
- You have to plan a date but do it without spending any money. What would you do?
- Describe your ideal Sunday.
- What kinds of things really make you laugh?
- What did you dress up as for Halloween last year?
- What is your favorite superpower?
- If you could take a vacation anywhere, where would you go and why?
- Where would you take me on our first date?
- Describe your dream house.
- Are you close with your parents? Why or why not?
- Tell me about your favorite American city.
- Describe the strangest place you’ve ever visited.
- What is your favorite brunch spot in the city?
- What is your favorite food?